I’ve learned the hard way that getting what you want isn’t about putting yourself first. It rarely is. There are all sorts of people around you with their own agendas and NOT thinking about you.
People are selfish and while I don’t suggest being selfless, you must know that people are thinking about themselves most of the time. It means that getting what you want starts with knowing what the other person wants first.
A lot of transparency and trust starts with revealing and discovering each other’s agenda. Put yourself in their shoes and then let the other person reciprocate by putting themselves in yours.
While it doesn’t guarantee getting what you want, your chances of being understood clearly will happen. By also relating to what the other person wants, you will naturally only ask for something if you know that’s fair to the other person’s agenda.
Make a case.