Why are some people so damn charming while others seem like they’re still stuck in 6th grade? When I was in High School, I had a friend who was the most charismatic person I had ever met. While he wasn’t the best at school, he always managed to charm his way through everything. He always got A’s and I sure don’t remember him ever paying for a meal at lunch.
Whether you consider yourself charismatic or not, there are things you are doing that are either making your more attractive or less attractive. There are certain social rules that you need to follow to make sure you are being as charismatic as possible. Charisma if a pillar of your brand, so be sure to improve your social skills every day.
What is the base of Charisma?
Humor: The easiest way to get rapport and have people feel at ease with you is to be funny. I am by no means advocating for you to be a clown, but the ability to get people laughing is priceless. Generally having a good fun loving attitude is the best way to be in the mood to use humor. Make sure to Smile and never get angry when humor is directed towards you. Learn to spit smack back!
What do you do if you’re not funny? First, don’t try to be funny. Understand that comedy starts with the character, not the joke. If you’re serious 100% of the time and try to crack a joke you heard from an outgoing fun-loving friend, I guarantee you won’t be able to pull it off. Find your humorous voice and try to understand whether people are reacting positively or negatively to your humor.
Vibe: We’ve all met a socially awkward person that makes everyone feel uncomfortable. What was it about that person? Did they try to hard? Did they say the wrong thing at the wrong time every time they opened their mouth?
Vibing is a skill that people learn after having a certain amount of social exposure. It’s the ability to listen, laugh, and make people feel comfortable with your presence. That of course starts with being comfortable in yourself. Having self-confidence in who you are and what you bring, are the core components to being able to vibe with people. Have you ever hung out with people who were WAY more accomplished than you were? I have. And even I felt a little inadequate. I wasn’t able to vibe comfortably with them. That all stems from self-confidence. Build your confidence and be able to vibe with anybody.
Value: Building your self-confidence ultimately builds your self-value. The more you value yourself, the more other people will be able to value you. There are ways to show you have value. But please, don’t show off. Showing off doesn’t show how accomplished you are. It shows how desperate you’re in need for validation from the people around you. The more value you have for yourself, the more you’ll be able to have a sense of humor, and the less judgemental you’ll be about others (judging is a cover for your own inadequacy). Value is proved by being humorous and being able to shoot the hay with others no matter how accomplished they may be. Being comfortable around EVERYBODY, shows that you’re a person with value that they should respect. It’s called Charisma. If you have charisma, you have a solid foundation for your brand.